Women have always fascinated me, especially the kind who believe their looks, beauty, clothes, style, makeup and accessories make the world go round; those who are of the opinion that they’re God’s gift to mankind. Let me change that – they firmly believe that they’re God’s gift to mankind. After all, opinions suggest that they can be changed, but beliefs … in India? Ha ha ha, good luck!
On more than one occasion, I’ve had the amusing opportunity to bump into female specimens who are convinced they’ve got guys falling this way and that like dominoes. They’re so irresistible, that guys will uproot the spine they have, fix a red rose on top of it, and offer it up as an undying declaration of their slavish love! And it’s so much fun when someone bursts their bubble.
This poem is inspired by one such femme fatale. I hope she’s managed to find the pieces of her ego and put them together once again … and moved on to her next victim!
Excuse Me, Could You Fall For My Charm, Please?
She sat pretty like a porcelain doll,
With dimpled cheeks and doey eyes;
A seductive smile played on her lips,
She was a vision that made heartbeats rise.
Wearing a chic, expensive dress
Her hair set perfectly in place
She expected to floor the ‘interview guy’
Make him her slave, leave him in a daze!
He sat back in his chair, unfazed,
Putting down his coffee on the table,
“We looked at your CV and profile,
But went with someone more capable;”
“Perhaps you should consider other jobs,
Ones that are more … your cup of tea,
We wish you luck for the future
And thank you for applying to our company.”
Her slender fingers ran through her hair
Twisting them into pretty curls,
She hoped her charms would work on him
What guy could say ‘No’ to a girl?
“Surely there’s something you can do
To put my talents to good use.
I’m absolutely perfect for this job
I don’t see how you can refuse,
To have me on your team, my friend,
I promise to give it all my best.
Look at my extensive resume,
I’m certainly a valuable asset.
He glanced at the resume in his hand,
Wondering if it would be polite
To ask this twit, nay, beautiful twit,
To jump off the city’s highest height?
“Your achievements are ‘remarkable’
But here’s the thing (and please don’t mind);
Chairman of Ladies Embroidery Club
Simply doesn’t cut it fine.”
“Your hobbies are quite diverse, I say,
Blogging, sketching and learning to fence.
They say quite a bit about who you are
But they lack professional relevance.”
“You have yet to complete your MBA,
(From an institute I haven’t heard of … ever!).
Pray tell me how that qualifies you
For the position of Project Manager?”
She piped in exuberantly,
Her eyes growing round and big,
She pushed a curl away from her eyes
With a not so very casual flick!
“You need an extrovert, and I
Am as outgoing as they come,
I can charm the pants off anyone,
I can talk non-stop … and then some!”
“Yes, I see,” he said dryly,
“You certainly have a gift of the gab.
(And if you had half a brain to match your looks…
Now, won’t that be absolutely fab!)
“My PR skills are really great,” she said
And I am fairly tech-savvy too.
And, if you tried hard enough
You’ll find something for me to do.”
Shifting uncomfortably in his seat,
He resisted the urge to strangle her.
She was beginning to get on his nerves,
How the hell was he supposed to handle her?
He mumbled, “It’s out of my hands.
The top brass have made up their minds.
I don’t think they will reconsider
You probably know the kind …”
An awkward silence enveloped them
Stretching for what seemed an hour or so.
She flashed him glances designed to kill
Was he REALLY going to let her go?
“I thank you for your interest in me.
And apologize for taking up so much time.”
She said, like she was talking to
An amoeba wading around in slime.
Rising stiffly from the chair,
She forced a smile on her face.
She left with a curt goodbye,
Dialing a number on her Samsung Ace.
“No, dad, this job isn’t for me”
She spoke grimly, muttering an oath.
“What they are offering is shameful,
There is no scope for career growth.”
“No, no, I won’t change my mind.
I’ve already refused those guys.”
She hung up sullenly, grinding her teeth
The girl who made heartbeats rise!