The first hour or so after I have woken up are precious to me …. really, really precious!
I prefer no one speaks to me, I prefer not to talk myself, and the only thing I do is cradle a cup of coffee in my hands, sit in my balcony and just stare away.
To the casual observer, I probably look like one of those people you find in old age home, sitting absolutely still, their gaze directed at nothing in general, their eyes glassy, and their hands lethargically hanging by their side. Immovable, unpenetrable, my actions are strictly limited to raising my cup to the lips, taking a smooth gentle sip, lowering the cup and letting it rest on my lap.
In these moments, all questions, all problems, world emergencies, disasters, and wars can wait. This one hour is my time and I guard it jealously. Sometimes, I think and sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, there are mysteries to ponder over, and sometimes, my mind is delightfully empty of any thought, opinion, prejudice, or emotion.
It’s really nice. Everyone should try it.
I know it’s an insane world we’re living in, but I’ve also realised o that it’s only as insane as we make it. Our choices make it chaotic. Our desire to cram 30 hours worth of action into a 24-hour day leaves us feeling drained and frustrated.
I am not presuming to make any judgments here. Most people have a hard life and they’re only trying to make the most of it. But, I have come to understand that unless I grab this one hour for myself in a day, I would end up losing control of my own life … and I just didn’t see the point of that.
All of us need to do that – take a small slice out of the apple pie that is life and then cherish it. Don’t share it with anyone … your friends, family, lover, husband, children, parents, anyone. And don’t let anyone guilt trip you into feeling bad for this tiny sliver of selfishness. You are entitled to that much.
It’s your life after all!